Sonata

The vet sent us a cast of your paw print. We are so grateful for this act of kindness in giving us a lasting piece of you. When we left I had such sense of loss to not have some part of you with me I asked for a tuft of your hair. I am still sad at random times when something reminds me of you. The last was when I was at the pet store trying to pick out a harness for Scooter to "socialize" him and they were having a dog training class in the next isle over. My first thought was why would anyone come here to train their dog and then, there is no way I could have ever brought you to something like this because when I took you to training you were so untrained that it would have been a complete disaster. But as I was listening to them my eyes filled with tears because I thought back to all of the commands you so dutifully learned to please us. I took you to one on one training and you were such a great student! It kept us busy while Kelly was in Quebec for five long weeks. I told him when he left you would be a changed dog when he returned and he laughed but you were so triumphant! Even the trainer the first day we were there said this is going to be hard, she is an older dog with lots of bad habits but if you work with her she can learn new things. We worked and the second week he said to me I can't believe how much she has improved she really wants to please you. Maybe it was your way of thanking us for giving you a second chance. You started out as a foster pet who had never even been on a leash, they told me at first I couldn't foster you because you were too far gone and would have to be put to sleep but then when they got you out and saw that in the few weeks I had worked with you had come around they saw the potential I saw and agreed. Sometimes I felt like we had a special bond because you never forgot I saved you. But even after I brought you home you didn't wag your tail for a week. Humans take for granted a dog's tail wag and once you finally did it I realized I never would again. Whatever you had been through that brought you to us was not good and unfortunately because I knew that it took me a lot longer to trust you that it took you to trust us. I just didn't know if something would trigger a bad memory inside you and cause you to act out so I was ever cautious with you around others. My first favorite memory of you is the day after we brought you home I found you laying on the yard with Kelly, he was on his back with his arms out and you were laying next to him on top of one. Kelly named you Sonata, it was a hard name to learn and even harder for kids to pronounce. But everyone comments on what a pretty name it is - a pretty name for a pretty girl. We went for a walk every day - rain or shine, wind or snow. You LOVED your walks, they started out you walking me as our neighbors observed. The 110 pound Rot walking (dragging) the 115 pound girl. It is funny how hard it is to get out of a habit after five years. Every night for a week now I have thought "ok I need to walk Sonata, take my shower. . ." wait. That is hard. Fostering lasted a while but then we just couldn't give you up so you became ours. I loved telling people I had a big dog, for some reason they never expected it. I took for granted how much I appreciated your size and protection. It wasn't until the first night we were home without you that I realized how safe you really made me feel. Always the protector of our back yard sometimes to our dismay. If I had a dollar for every time we told you "quiet". But you would bark at particular people at the fence and then run to the glass door like "hey just wanted you to know there is someone out there, I'll go back and bark at them some more now." Crazy dog. The dog trainer said we would never cure you of that and he was right, even your last day you were protecting your domain. We still think we can hear you and it is hard to walk by the laundry room, your bedroom at night, and not hear the familiar sound of you jumping up at the sound of our approach. Three nights ago we had the worst thunderstorm we have had in a long time and when I woke up my first thought was "Sonata!" you HATED loud noises. Thunder and fireworks were the worst. Hopefully as the weeks pass these feelings will start to go away. I think the hardest part about the last week is just feeling like it was so sudden. You went from a puppy to acting like a really sick dog so suddenly and we weren't prepared to say goodbye and not bring you home. What I wished I had said to you was thank you. For all of these things and more, for enriching our lives with your unending love and determination to make us happy. You weren't perfect but always tried, we realize now our home is a lot emptier without you. We miss you and look forward to seeing you again some day.